Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
