Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
