You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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