dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
