ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
vagina is talking i cant
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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