well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
