so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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