so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
