I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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