How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
