i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
