There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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