We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize