I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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