I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
