Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
zippers are such a cool invention
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
