Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Mom said you looked used
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
