you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
