I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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