You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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