Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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