apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
