Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize