i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
