she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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