Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She announced her abortion via fbk
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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