What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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