Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
