I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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