if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
