it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
