Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
