i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize