based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
