You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
