I'm going to jail i love you
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
