He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
