I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The beer is more important than you right now.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
