I should be sponsored by Trojan
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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