I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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