He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
