it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
