so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
