and you said cock pushups were impossible
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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