How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
