Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
