We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
