Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize