so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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