I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
