Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
