I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
