Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
