Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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