He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Damn victory sex feels great
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
