you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
