Already got asked if we're dating
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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