If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
