Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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