Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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