Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
