well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
