you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
